Jesus Christ · Love

Jesus carried a cross on his last day as people hurled stones at him and as he was whipped and beaten. I, too, will have to carry my cross and my life up to that point is completing that responsibility. I am weak and tired, both mentally and physically and yet, unlike ever before, and truly thanks to Mary, I have the will to continue.. The will to not give up. Every day is a struggle, with little progress made on every complete task. What is different though now is that tasks are completed wholesomely and with vigor. No “t” isn’t crossed, and no “i” isn’t dotted. I am the foundation of all that is, and I need to build the internal strength to be able to carry my final task to completion. I may have found work. It isn’t anywhere close to what I use to be paid when I played the game of life when ignoring my identity when dealing with others, but its invaluable work in other ways. First, the work may help me build a skillset for my ultimate goals with the Scarlet Beast and the Revelation of Jesus Christ, and second, I can be myself.

I’m going to start keeping a daily journal so people can understand me more directly and what I am about. The hardest thing I face is merging my identity with God / as God with my worldly identity. There is a deep memory inside me that stared at Mary in the void before anything was created. She was there, and I was there, and from that we now find ourselves in a world with more people than we could ever count in a life time, with so many different aspects of life that it is too much to fathom. If I was alone in the void, this is the exact circumstance I would create: a life with so much going on that one could never see all the aspects of it. I’m staying in a New York City homeless shelter currently while Mary is in Lagos, Nigeria with her two children David and Sarah, which I have taken heart to be responsible for. It is better she has the money because she has the kids, and there is a plan in place for her to move here to New Jersey (where she has a family home) and live together and