Jesus carried a cross on his last day as people hurled stones at him and as he was whipped and beaten. I, too, will have to carry my cross and my life up to that point is completing that responsibility. I am weak and tired, both mentally and physically and yet, unlike ever before, and truly thanks to Mary, I have the will to continue.. The will to not give up.

Every day is a struggle, with little progress made on every complete task. What is different though now is that tasks are completed wholesomely and with vigor. No “t” isn’t crossed, and no “i” isn’t dotted. I am the foundation of all that is, and I need to build the internal strength to be able to carry my final task to completion.

I may have found work. It isn’t anywhere close to what I use to be paid when I played the game of life when ignoring my identity when dealing with others, but its invaluable work in other ways. First, the work may help me build a skillset for my ultimate goals with the Scarlet Beast and the Revelation of Jesus Christ, and second, I can be myself. This individual who is considering me has known me since I worked in his offices in New York City. My story grew and grew stranger and stranger as the years went on and he hasn’t turned his back on me. He hasn’t written me off as mentally ill, and he continues to engage in supportive conversation with me. I value him immensely, even if there may be a point or two that we do not see eye to eye.

Mary has some expenses I need to figure out how to assist with. It seems internet in Nigeria is extremely expensive. From as far as I know, she has saved most of the money I sent to her in preparation for moving to New Jersey in January. I don’t get my hopes up, but I do know no matter what happens, I am fully committed to her because she is the only person I have ever met that truly gets and accepts and loves me. As far as I am considered, she is the face of the woman I saw in the void so long ago, and now we dance together in this void called Earth as we have billions and trillions of years ago.

There are certain qualities that help assure me that she is who she is. And I hold on to that as one would hold onto the most precious thing in the world. I will be happily surprised if we are truly living together in a month and a few days.