Carlos Castaneda has a story about a monster that eats our life energy and inserts its own thoughts into our soul to render us useless to it’s attacks. The story says that if we hold onto the center of the core of ourselves, eventually we give that monster a great defeat, but the monster comes back again and again, eating our life, until we hold onto the core of ourselves for long enough that the monster goes away forever.

In other story by Carlos Castaneda, the Tonal and the Nagual are described. The tonal thinks it is king, but the Nagual exists hidden, witnessing all that happens in ones life. The delicate balance of freedom from the monster above is a balance, an agreement of some sort, between the Tonal and Nagual. The tonal is the monster. It insistently talks about the self over and over, and yet isn’t the self. Life energy is drained at every moment, and one begins to falsely identify with the Tonal.

To defeat the Tonal, the Tonal needs to become aware that it would be happier if the Nagual took over. The nagual is the silent core we hold onto deep inside ourselves.

The monster came back last night. And it came back with fierce attacks. It knows its in a struggle for its life and that it will soon die. The Tonal doesn’t exist and yet it thinks it does.

The Tonal attacked ferociously last night, and the divine intelligence of this universe came back with a king gesture in the morning news this morning.

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard went through a lot. Here is Johnny’s quote this morning that came up in the news:

“Honestly, I can sit here this very second and think about all the hit pieces, and how everybody was against me, and yeah yeah yeah he is off the map … endless stuff. I can remember it all. Went through it all. Some of it was not the most beautiful time, some of it was hilarious. Some of it was mad. The thing is, it simply just was, and it simply just is. So, for me, it happened. I learned, man. Everything that we experience, whether you’re given a snow cone or walking your dog, you learn something somewhere along the way. So, I don’t have any ill feelings toward anyone. I don’t have this great reserve of hatred, because hatred requires caring. Why carry that baggage?”

This may come off as cold, but truly its much more loving then it seems. It’s not that he doesn’t care. It’s that he doesn’t care about the turmoil and suffering that happened. He is saying it happened. So what? Now he doesn’t identify with it anymore and has let go of all that hatred and internal anger. His soul is at peace, and isn’t a peaceful soul at the best place for warmth, love and kindness?

He was attacked by the monster, and so was Amber. But what else matters but holding onto inner silence, a place of not “caring” about the suffering that took place and returning to a state of peace and love and kindness?

The thought is a dagger. Don’t have it. Hold onto the center of that deep place of inner silence and emptiness and defeat the monster forever.